I Have you ever apologized to someone after making a mistake or hurting their feelings? Many people don't! According to research, one reason is that we are afraid of how the person may react. Without realizing it, we worry that they will think we are not sincere and that we don't really mean what we are saying, or that we will both feel embarrassed. So, instead of apologizing, we often say nothing.
II However, according to Dr. Rachel Adams, a professor of psychology, there is no reason to worry about giving apologies. "Apologizing has great benefits for both sides," she says. "Our studies show that people are usually happy to receive an apology. It puts the recipient (the person who receives the apology) in a good mood. If we could just realize that there is no need to feel uncomfortable when apologizing, we could improve our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues."
III British researcher Professor Mark Jenkins has found that giving apologies is an effective way to rebuild trust. "Apologies help the recipients feel valued and respected, so the person receiving your apology is more willing to forgive and move on."
IV However, the researchers advise people to follow some rules when giving apologies. First, don't make excuses! The recipient may feel that the apology is not sincere. Second, ask yourself how well you know each other. "It's not always clear how a stranger or colleague will react to your apology," says Professor Jenkins. Therefore, only apologize if you are sure the situation is appropriate. Last, try not to use a general apology. It's best to acknowledge the specific action or mistake.
V Both researchers believe, however, that we should stop worrying. Giving an apology doesn't require special skills and we all have the power to use sincere words. So give an apology! It is a wonderful way to make someone feel respected and valued.
1. What do we learn in paragraph I?
PUT A √ BY THE TWO CORRECT ANSWERS.
i) Why it is important to apologize to people.
ii) Why many people don't give apologies.
iii) What people really mean when they apologize.
iv) Why many people like to receive apologies.
v) What many people are worried about.
vi) What apologies people often choose to give.
"Apologizing has great benefits for both sides." (line 6)
Give a benefit for the recipient of the apology and a benefit for the giver of the apology, according to paragraph II.
(Recipient).............................................................................................................................................. .
(Giver).................................................................................................................................................... .
After receiving an apology, why might people be willing to forgive and move on?
COMPLETE THE SENTENCE ACCORDING TO PARAGRAPH III. Because they ............................................................................................................................................. .
According to paragraph IV, what is one of the rules to follow when giving apologies?
(i) Never apologize to people you don't know.
(ii) Never comment on your colleague's mistakes.
(iii) An apology should be given when the situation is appropriate.
(iv) A general apology is usually a good idea.
What might someone think if they receive an apology with excuses? (paragraph IV)
ANSWER: ................................................................................................................................................ .
The researchers' conclusion is that (–). (paragraph V)
i) giving apologies needs special skills
ii) people shouldn't be afraid to give apologies
iii) it isn't necessary to give apologies to be happy
iv) when you give an apology, you will feel powerful
What does the writer advise people to do? (paragraph V)
ANSWER: .................................................................................................................................................. .
